Pump that Gas

I wrote this about two years ago when gas was around $2.70. I never imagined we would hit the $4.00 mark. Currently, gas is $3.71 where I live.


Better things to waste your money on when gas hits $4 a gallon.


10. Netflix. You aren't going to the movies, might as well pay around $15 a month for unlimited DVDs. They ship them through the mail, so you don't have to drive anywhere.

9. HSN. Home Shopping Network will be your savior. Everything you need is only a phone call away.

8. A Horse. You can ride in style and still have horse power. But you might want to pay someone to pick up all the horse shit.

7. The girl from Small Wonder. If I had one of her, well let's just say I would never have to leave the house. I'm pretty sure she is battery operated.

6. Battery operated golf cart. Plug it in at night and you can drive anywhere you want.... at 15 mph.

5. Ski mask and black water pistol. This way you can rob a few banks and get away in your horse or golf cart. Don't expect the cops to chase you, they'll run out of gas.

4. Golf Clubs. To put in the back of your golf cart so you can have something to beat the shit out of people with. Maybe just a 9-iron and a sand wedge.

3. Lots and lots of liquor. You have to get real smashed to get the same effect of drinking and driving when you just walk around.

2. Video phone. This way you can still communicate and see all your friends without having to drive anywhere.

1. The Delorean from Back to the Future. It drives on trash....enough said!